Some Baby Boomers and Generation Xers have labeled my generation a bunch of entitled people who enjoy sharing useless stuff about our day on social media when we were in our twenties. We for example watched Happy Gilmore as a kid then forgot about "Happy Place" and began posting it on social media all over the place as a hashtag to the annoyance of everybody. Then a decade or so goes by and we see Happy Gilmore on TV and go "Is that why we did that? We could have just watched this movie."
Which brings me to the Romantic Languages and Rome. As well as a millennial cliche I actually hate....
I am Today Years Old.
In Italian the name of the city is Roma
That word spelled backwards is Amor which is Love in Spanish and Love in French is Amour which is close enough to Roma for me.
Romance is word that tells al love story, it comes from the French
But...
I kind of just realized because I'm a little bit of an idiot.
That Roman makes up most of the letters in the word Romance.
And the "Romance languages" are not languages about "Love" but instead languages that share a common connection with Rome and the Romans.
Which if you think about it for a seconds... Makes a whole lot of sense.
Also here are some thoughts on the English Language.
1. The language is the Time Machine from Back to the Future driven by someone who is in desperate need of ADHD medication.
It can move from past to future and skip the present tense. People often talk about something from their past, and then jump forward to the future and have it not even be an issue. For example, people can talk about something in the present as something in the future or past.
For example: Someone might be in a kitchen and say something like: "I already did..., but I still have to do...." The verb "to do" is essentially being used in the past and future tenses for something she is making that day, which is the present. And they probably say this in consecutive sentences.
In Romance languages people tend to use the present tense 80-90% of the time, and if someone Englishfy's the language and speaks in this non present kind of way, native speakers might judge them for being annoying, To cook is Cocinar in Spanish and when making a recipe, you are being present so you use the present tense of that verb until the recipe is done, and when you eat it, you use the present tense of the verb to eat Comer.
Basically for native speakers of English their version of "speaking in the present" is not at all speaking in the present.
Which makes sense for us Native English Speakers.
But makes absolutely no sense at all to people who are learning our language from being a native speaker of a Romance Language.
2. Psychologists suggest "Be Present" as mental health piece of advice all the time to people. I don't think they know what they mean, or they do and it's just a joke they run on people to figure out if they realize that their advice is like not at all being present.
Examples of Being Present from Chat GPT.
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Mindful Breathing: Take a few moments each day to focus on your breath. Breathe deeply, paying attention to the sensation of each inhale and exhale. This simple practice can help calm the mind and reduce stress.
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Gratitude Journaling: Keep a daily gratitude journal where you write down three things you're grateful for. This encourages a positive mindset and helps shift your focus to the present moment.
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Engage Your Senses: Pay attention to your surroundings using your senses. Notice the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures around you. This helps anchor you in the present moment.
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Mindful Eating: When eating, savor each bite. Pay attention to the flavors, textures, and smells of your food. Eating mindfully can enhance the enjoyment of meals and promote a healthier relationship with food.
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Digital Detox: Take regular breaks from screens and social media. Disconnecting from technology allows you to be more present in face-to-face interactions and reduces the impact of digital stressors.
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Body Scan Meditation: Practice a body scan meditation, where you bring awareness to each part of your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head. This can help release tension and promote relaxation.
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Single-Tasking: Focus on one task at a time, whether it's work, reading, or even washing dishes. Avoid multitasking, as it divides your attention and can lead to increased stress.
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Nature Walks: Spend time in nature and take leisurely walks. Pay attention to the natural environment, the colors, sounds, and sensations. Connecting with nature has been shown to have positive effects on mental well-being.
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Mindful Listening: When in conversation, practice active and mindful listening. Give your full attention to the person speaking without interrupting or thinking about your response. This enhances communication and fosters connection.
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Acceptance and Non-Judgment: Practice acceptance of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Instead of resisting or labeling them, acknowledge them and let them pass. This can reduce anxiety and increase emotional resilience
If you notice and think about these examples... NONE OF THEM ARE "PRESENT"
1. You have breathed every moment of your life, doing "mindful breathing" is just noticing you are breathing, which my connect you to your body a little, but so does doing a little exercise and breathing a little faster afterward and noticing your heart going faster. Which is habit that is good to have, but also once you make it a habit it just is something that gets done everyday, and not necessarily something that is "present". Because you've done them for a lot of yesterdays and will do them for a lot of tomorrows.
2. Gratitude Journaling: Read the thing above about habits.
3. Engage your Senses, unless you are recently not deaf, or not blind anymore, I don't see how noticing things around you is helpful that much. I've done this before in my past and I don't know but it can be stressful to be mindful and notice things. You have had senses, site, ears, taste, smell, touch everyday of your life, what makes one moment more important then another aside from the obvious, like child birth, sex, jumping out of an airplane, being at a national park wondering how earth can be so amazing, or take a bath and put on some relaxing music. But if you have already done something like this then it just becomes a routine and not something that is "present" which is a way to reduce stress.
4-10 Same idea, they are all suggestions to be present, but also suggestions that are not at all present.
Psychology is kind of like a walking talking thesaurus sometimes.
Psychologists often offer suggestions and alternatives to people as thesaurus does to people wanting to use a different word because they are stuck. Psychology can inject new ideas and new thoughts that we may not have considered before.
But once you adopt enough of those new thoughts and ideas and they become habit and routine.... your job of improving your mental health is pretty much done by that point.
And what was once "Being Present" or new and exciting and gave life a little excitement.... becomes....
well a trip to Costco or something buying something different just for the hell of it.