Life can change and be upended entirely in a very short amount of time. This past month has been one of those for me and my family.
On June 18th, 2024 my Dad suffered a heart attack and through the grace of God survived to live to see his Birthday on June 20th, 2024.
Thinking this was the worst that things could get this summer my Dad and I decided to get me LASIK so I would no longer need glasses, my Surgery was on July 11th which seems like a lifetime ago today on the 24th of July.
Just 3 days later on July 14th I was driving my Dad to the Emergency Room again, he had been enjoying a Danish show on Amazon Prime called "Seaside Hotel" the show had subtitles. On the night of July 13th, he suddenly could not follow the subtitles. Believing he was just tired he went to sleep, but in the morning he was having difficulty reading his iPad and on the advice of the Advice Nurse from Kaiser I took him to the emergency room.
The next day which was the day of the Republican National Convention it was revealed through an MRI that he had suffered two small strokes which impaired his ability to read and gave him keliadascope like vision which thankfully is important. As far as strokes are concerned his was a minor case, many people who suffer strokes have had far worse symptoms. He still has the ability to walk around the house, he can talk and form sentences and understand other people, he doesn't have any loss of feeling in his body, he still retained all of his Spanish that he learned a lot of years ago, his memories and recall are decent enough for someone who is 73 years old, but he has had difficulty recognizing letters and reading.
Which is a scary enough situation just trying to call family, read a computer screen, check your blood sugar, are nearly impossible tasks when you lost the ability to read. This may or may not be permanent for my Dad, but his keliadascope vision is improving a little bit everyday.
But the worst part is that the MRI also revealed what has turned out to be lung cancer, most likely stage 4, without any cure.
Currently the morbid, but entirely necessary task, of getting one's affairs in order is what my life currently is about. We are setting up a living trust within the next couple weeks, have added my name to the title of the cars we own, and have turned individual banking accounts into joint banking accounts.
I'm sure the next few weeks will bring even more difficulties and challenges to me and my family. More scans and imaging are scheduled, more doctor visits, not just for recovery from a heart attack and stroke but also for cancer. Overnight it seems I have become more a caregiver than anything else.
I mention this because I hope that someone reading this might think getting some of these things done early before crisis strikes. Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster the likes of which I have never felt before, and believe me I've been on more then a few bumpy emotional rollercoaster rides in my time.
I guess there's some kind of psychology about there being stages of grief, I don't now how practical any of that really is. I think what will work for me is just finding one small thing that is positive each day, and one small thing to be grateful for each day in hopes that it might keep me from losing any semblance of control I might delusionaly think I have over my emotions.
That seems to be working for me today, and if it works for me, it might work for whoever is reading this who is also facing Life's challenges.
There are some practical reasons why people should probably start thinking about some of these morbid things earlier then think they should.
For example, if you have a parent who is approaching the age of 70 or older, or if you are approaching that age, you can consider thinking about making the bank account a joint banking account, elderly abuse is a real problem and there are countless numbers of criminals out there looking to take easy money from elderly people. Having a trusted and responsible family member also have access to the account to make sure there are not any outrageous transactions or odd purchases is not a half bad idea. Plus it makes it a little easier once the final time comes to avoid the bank account going into probate and having a court decide things if there is no will.
As far as my life goes, it is forever changed this July of 2024, not only for my LASIK but for the sudden and harsh reality of potentially losing my only parent in the not too distant future.